Trigun Camera
by BrokenRoses
Summary: Ever heard of Candid Camera? Well now welcome to-- Trigun Camera! It's kind of random, but it's funny. Or at least I think so. Please RR!
1. Trigun Camera

Disclaimer: No, I'm sorry. I don't own Trigun. But Vash is another story! ^.~ *Is attacked by all his other rabid fan girls* Gah! No! I'm sorry! I lied! I don't own Vash either!  
  
Kim: SMILE! YOU'RE ON TRIGUN CAMERA!  
  
Vash: Kim. what are you talking about?  
  
Kim: Trigun Camera of course!  
  
Vash: Uh. Kim. There is no Trigun Came-  
  
Kim: Hey Vash! Watch this! *Grabs Wolfwood's cross gun since he is sleeping and hides it under the couch*  
  
Vash: Kim what are you-  
  
Kim: Hey WOLFWOOD!  
  
Wolfwood: *Wakes up with a start* HUH!? What?! Where?!  
  
Kim: *Pokes his nose* There silly!  
  
Wolfwood: ...  
  
Kim: Hey Wolfwood! Guess what? *Plops herself down on his lap*  
  
Wolfwood: Uh, what?  
  
Kim: *Points at Vash* Vash broke your gun.  
  
Wolfwood: HE WHAT?!  
  
Vash: I what?!  
  
Wolfwood: You little--!! *Jumps Vash and they go into a brawl*  
  
Vash: GAAAAAAH! NO! I didn't! Kim! Heeeelp!  
  
Kim: Hey Wolfwood!  
  
Wolfwood: *Pauses and looks over* What?  
  
Kim: SMILE! YOU'RE ON TRIGUN CAMERA! *Pulls Camera man out from hiding place*  
  
Wolfwood: ...What?  
  
Kim: *Pulls out his gun* Tada!  
  
Wolfwood: .. *Gets up and takes his gun before slowly turning to look at Vash* ...Whoops.  
  
Vash: *Laying in a heap and bleeding* .Oro. @_@  
  
Kenshin: Hey! That's MY word!  
  
Kaoru: Quite baka! This is their show! *Smacks him*  
  
Kenshin: Oro. @_@  
  
Kim: Well wasn't that fun!  
  
Vash: * Slowly stands up and glares at Wolfwood *  
  
Wolfwood: Heh. heh. *Sweat drop*  
  
Vash: *Eye twitches* I'm. okay.  
  
Kim: Of course you are!!! *Pounces*  
  
Vash: Gaaah!  
  
Wolfwood: Hmpth.  
  
Kim: You'd two better be on your best behavior from this point on.  
  
Wolfwood: Or what?  
  
Kim: Or. I'll release.. THEM  
  
Vash and Wolfwood: .Them?  
  
Kim: The FANGIRLS!  
  
V&W: NOOO! ANYTHING BUT THEM!  
  
Wolfwood: *Cowers behind his gun and begins to pray*  
  
Vash: Anything but the rabid fan girls! I can't take much more of them!  
  
Kim: Then be on your best behavior!  
  
Wolfwood: I could just leave you know.  
  
Kim: No you can't.  
  
Wolfwood: And just why not?  
  
Kim: You signed a contract! *Pulls one out*  
  
Wolfwood: What?! *Takes contract and scans it* You told me this was for free coffee!  
  
Kim: Did I? Oops.  
  
Vash: What does the contract say anyway?  
  
Kim: It says you two have to stay and keep me company until the sun sets.  
  
Wolfwood: This is ridiculous *Lights a cigarette*  
  
Kim: *Jumps up off Vash and grabs the cigarette and stomps it out*  
  
Wolfwood: What the hell was THAT for?!  
  
Kim: Well I don't want you dieing before sundown.  
  
Wolfwood: *Glares dangerously*  
  
Vash: UhWolfwood. Love and Peace remember?  
  
Wolfwood: Mm.  
  
Kim: Okay! Now I think it's time we bring on our surprise guest!  
  
Wolfwood: I thought this was a camera show.  
  
Kim: Huh? Oh, Trigun Camera. Yea that's over now. Now it's the Trigun Talk show.  
  
Wolfwood: What the hell.?  
  
Vash: Talk show? Well. who's the guest?  
  
Kim: *Drags them both to chairs and makes them sit down before sitting down herself* Our first guest is named Meryl!  
  
Wolfwood: The insurance girl?  
  
Vash: Uh oh.  
  
Kim: What's the matter Vash?  
  
Vash: Well it's just that. I'm not really supposed to be here-  
  
Meryl: *Comes stomping on stage* Damn straight your not! You ditched us!  
  
Milly: Yeah!  
  
Kim: Oh no. There goes our second guest.  
  
Meryl: And you!  
  
Kim: *Squeaks* Me?  
  
Meryl: *Looms over her* What you did was fraud! Tricking them into signing contracts like that!  
  
Kim: *Stands up on her chair* So what are you gonna do about it?  
  
Meryl: I could charge you and get you sent to jail for one thing.  
  
Kim: *Sweat drops* Uhhh. It. it was only a joke!  
  
Meryl: As a matter of fact.  
  
Kim: *Eye twitches*  
  
Meryl: .I think that under these cirsumstrances..  
  
Milly: Isn't that Mr. Vash over there?  
  
Kim: *Looks and sees Vash and Wolfwood trying to sneak off. She quickly grabs them back*  
  
Meryl: .I will have to press charges.  
  
Kim: Huh, yes, wonderful. Well it's been nice having you on the show! Until next time! *Motions for the guards and they begin to haul Meryl away as Milly follows*  
  
Meryl: Hey! Wait just a second! I'm not through here!  
  
Kim: Well then! Now that that is settled. *Plops back into her seat* Time for our next guest.  
  
Wolfwood and Vash: ..Yay..  
  
Kim: His name is Knives!  
  
Wolfwood: Oh shit.  
  
Vash: ...What.. did you say?  
  
Kim: And from what he's told us, he has known Vash since he was a child! Aww! Chibi Vash!  
  
Vash: *Blushes lightly*  
  
Kim: So here he is! Knives!  
  
A/N: Hey all! Depending on reviews I'll continue! So if you liked it, review! If you didn't. review anyway! Reviews are fun! Thankies. ^.~ 


	2. Trigun Talk Show

Disclaimer: Once again, no, I do not own Trigun. I apologize to any of you who were misled on that fact. ^.~ Mwhaha.  
  
Knives: *Comes on stage and takes a seat next to Vash* Hello.  
  
Kim: Hello!!! Welcome to the Trigun Talk show! It's a pleasure to have you on our show Knives!  
  
Knives: Mm.  
  
Wolfwood: This is so stupid. No, it's below stupid.  
  
Knives: So is your IQ.  
  
Wolfwood: . . . What, did you just say?  
  
Kim: Well then! Let's move on! Now Knives, I understand you are Vash's brother?  
  
Knives: That is correct.  
  
Kim: So that means you knew Vash when he was just a child! Care to tell us what he was like?  
  
Knives: He was foolish. He still is. He was infatuated with this mortal named Rem. Thought of her as some type of. . . Mother. He wanted to be able to save the butterfly and the spider, you could say.  
  
Vash: You just wanted to let them both die! You killed everyone! You didn't care about anything!  
  
Kim: How did that make you feel, Vash?  
  
Vash: *Gets a dangerous look in his eyes as he glares at Knives* Angry.  
  
Knives: You have not changed Vash. You are still as naïve as ever. If the spider is to live, the butterfly must die.  
  
Kim: Did I miss something? *Looks around*  
  
Wolfwood: Just humor them.  
  
Kim: Okey dokey then.  
  
Vash: You have no heart.  
  
Knives: You have no brain.  
  
Vash: Yeah well. you have no.. spleen!  
  
Knives: . . .  
  
Vash: Heh, heh.  
  
Kim: Well now! It's been wonderful having you on the show Knives, and I guess we'll see you-  
  
Knives: Oh no you don't! You will not dismiss me as if I am below you! You foolish mortal girl!  
  
Kim: . . . But. . . I'm the host. . .  
  
Knives: SILENCE!!! This show will now belong to me! Move from your seat! * Gets up and picks Kim up, sitting her in his seat and taking hers *  
  
Kim: *Gets all teary eyed* But it's my show! I'm the host!  
  
Knives: Silence. *Glares*  
  
Vash: I won't let you do this Knives! Can't you see how you are upsetting her?! Why must you be so mean?  
  
Wolfwood: Yeah!  
  
Knives: Shut up. I am going to call my first guest.  
  
Kim: It's okay Vash! I wanna see his guest!  
  
Vash: . . . Uh. . . Okay.  
  
Knives: For my first guest! Legato! Please enter!  
  
Legato: *Walks out and waves while all the fan girls swoon. He takes a seat next to Kim* Hello.  
  
Knives: Legato! So glad you could come.  
  
Legato: It's my pleasure.  
  
Wolfwood: Why are we allowing this?  
  
Vash: Because the less we fight the better.  
  
Wolfwood: *Sighs* Right. Love and Peace.  
  
Knives: So Legato. . . Tell us a little about yourself.  
  
Legato: There is nothing of interest to tell.  
  
Knives: . . . Uh. Okay then. Well. . .  
  
Wolfwood: Wow Knives. Your guests sure are interesting.  
  
Kim: I think he's spiffy!  
  
Vash: . . .No. He's not.  
  
Kim: He's not?  
  
Vash: No.  
  
Kim: Oh. Okay then. Nevermind.  
  
Wolfwood: That's it! I don't care what the contract says! I'm outta here!  
  
Kim: No! You can't leave me!  
  
Wolfwood: Watch me! *Gets up to walk off*  
  
Kim: Noooo! *Grabs onto his leg*  
  
Wolfwood: *Begins to walk while dragging Kim* Get-Off-Of-Me!!!  
  
Kim: No! Not until you promise to stay!  
  
Knives: Wow. She's mad. I think I like her. . . Hmm.  
  
Legato: Excuse me. *Sneaks off*  
  
Vash: Oy.  
  
Wolfwood: GET OFF OF ME!!!!  
  
Kim: *Lets go and he falls over from straining against her* There! You happy!  
  
Knives: *Chuckles*  
  
Wolfwood: * Glares at her*  
  
Kim: *Glares back*  
  
Knives: I know how we can settle this.  
  
Everyone: How?  
  
Knives: A duel. Between Kim and Wolfwood. If Wolfwood wins, he can leave. If Kim wins then he stays.  
  
Wolfwood: Fine.  
  
Kim: Err. . . Okay I guess.  
  
Vash: *Eyes Knives suspiciously* What do you get from it?  
  
Knives: Oh. I have my eye on my prize.  
  
A/N: Chapter two is done! Review if you want me to continue!!! 


	3. Trigun Shoot Off

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun! It would be nifty if I did though. . .  
  
Kim: So how should we go about it? What kind of spar should it be? Ooo! Can we have a dancing contest?  
  
Wolfwood: Hell no.  
  
Kim: Hmpth. Fine. What then?  
  
Knives The answer if quite obvious. *Walks over to Kim and hands her a gun*  
  
Kim: Uh. . . What's this for?  
  
Knives: You'll have a shoot off.  
  
Kim: *Sweat drops* You've got to be kidding me.  
  
Wolfwood: *Grins* I've already won. *Stands and takes his usual pose, pulling the strap that keeps his gun covered and it poofs off! Revealing his gun*  
  
Kim: *Gulps*  
  
Vash: Wait! We need rules!  
  
Knives: Shut up! No we don't!  
  
Vash: Yes we do! *Stands up on his chair* The first rule! No killing! The first wounded or to forfeit loses!  
  
Kim: *Lets out a breath* Phew. Thank goodness.  
  
Knives: Second rule. . .  
  
Vash: *Blinks* Wait. . . what?  
  
Knives: Each shooter shall have someone to represent them.  
  
Wolfwood: I don't need anyone to represent me.  
  
Knives: I shall represent Kim. So Vash. . .  
  
Vash: Hmm?  
  
Knives: You'll have to represent the idiot.  
  
Wolfwood: Oh? Is there someone else in the fight? Because I don't see any idiots around here. *Glares*  
  
Knives: Look in a mirror.  
  
Vash: Okay! Maybe we should begin! I'll represent Wolfwood, and Knives will represent Kim.  
  
Kim: I don't understand why we need representation.  
  
Wolfwood: Neither do I.  
  
Knives: Because. Vash and I are going to make a small bet of or own, placed upon you two. Now you two talk or something while we discuss terms. *Motions for Vash to follow him away from Kim and Wolfwood*  
  
Vash: . . . Something doesn't smell right. . .  
  
Knives: I'm biting my tongue to keep from insulting you right now.  
  
Vash: I'm biting my tongue to keep from. . . uh. . . doing the same!  
  
Knives: Ugh.  
  
Wolfwood: *Watching Vash and Knives discuss things on the other side of the stage* What do you think they're talking about?  
  
Kim: The bet.  
  
Wolfwood: I know that! I mean, what do you think the bet is?  
  
Kim: What's this do? *Flips the safety off and accidentally pulls the trigger firing a shot which nearly misses Wolfwood's leg*  
  
Wolfwood: Gah! You baka!  
  
Kim: Nani?  
  
Wolfwood: Haven't you ever used a gun before!?  
  
Kim: *Smiles* Nope.  
  
Wolfwood: *Sweat drops* Great.  
  
Vash: *Looking over at Kim and Wolfwood as they argue* Maybe this isn't such a good idea Knives.  
  
Knives: It's a splendid idea. Now listen up. Make your terms. If Wolfwood wins. . .?  
  
Vash: *Looks back over and grins* You have to stop killing people.  
  
Knives: *Smirks* Alright.  
  
Vash: And if Kim wins?  
  
Knives: I get to keep her. Corrupting her naïve mind should be fun.  
  
Vash: WHAT?!  
  
Knives: Let the duel begin! *Walks back to sit in the chairs and watch*  
  
Vash: *Follows after* Okay Vash, calm down. It's okay. There is no way Kim is going to win this match. *Sits a seat away from Knives*  
  
Knives: Whenever you guys are ready.  
  
Kim: Okey dokey!  
  
Wolfwood: Sure thing. *Raises his gun and smirks* I'm such a nice guy, I'll let you take the first shot.  
  
Kim: Erm. . . Okay. *Turns the gun around a few times and then finally points it at Wolfwood. She messes with the safety a few times and finally fires the gun, stumbling backwards with the force of it. The bullet whizzes past Wolfwood, hits a pole, bounces off, and comes back narrowly missing him* Holy shit! Did I do that? *Tilts the gun in her own direction looking at the small amount of smoke coming from the end*  
  
Wolfwood: *Wide-eyed* You're one scary little thing aren't you?  
  
Kim: Hehe. ^.^;  
  
Wolfwood: Tell you what? I'll give you a chance right now to surrender and give up, and just let me walk right out of here.  
  
Kim: But I want you to stay!  
  
Wolfwood: You'll still have Vash.  
  
Vash: Thanks Wolfwood.  
  
Wolfwood: Hey Vash, it's every man for himself.  
  
Knives: Kim!  
  
Kim: *Squeaks* What?!  
  
Knives: Quick! Shoot him!  
  
Kim: Eep! *Fires the gun but the bullet misses Wolfwood by a long shot and heads straight for Vash*  
  
Vash: Gah! *Dodges it quickly, ending up on the floor*  
  
Wolfwood: You have a habit for narrowly missing people, don't you?  
  
Knives: Pity.  
  
Kim: *Squeals* Vashy! I'm sorry! *Runs over to Vash and kneels next to him* Are you okay?  
  
Vash: I'm fine. *Backs away from her a little*  
  
Wolfwood: *Comes up behind Kim* He'll be fine. . .  
  
Kim: I refuse to fight anymore! *Throws the gun behind her*  
  
THUMP.  
  
Kim: *Turns around to see Wolfwood lying on the ground with a good sized bump on his head* Oops.  
  
Knives: Kim! You did it!  
  
Kim: I did?  
  
Knives: Yes! You win!  
  
Kim: *Squeals* I do?!  
  
Vash: Wait a minute! She said she forfeited before that!  
  
Knives: No she didn't! She never said those official words! Just that she refused to fight. So it wasn't official.  
  
Vash: What?! That's totally and completely-  
  
Kim: YAY! This means Wolfwood must stay!!!  
  
Wolfwood: * Groans as he sits up finally* Lady Luck must not like me tonight. Wait. . . tonight? What time is it?  
  
Kim: It's 11:00, you guys could of officially left a while ago.  
  
Wolfwood: * Twitches* You mean all of that--?  
  
Vash: Was for nothing.  
  
Knives: *Chuckles* You are all fools.  
  
Kim: *Giggles* You have a very infectious laugh! *Copies his laugh*  
  
Knives: . . . Perhaps I shall change my mind about our bet Vash. . .  
  
Vash: * Suddenly grinning* Oh no you don't! She won fair and square! She's all yours Knives!  
  
Kim: *Big eyes* You mean Knives is staying?  
  
Knives: But. . . but she said she forfeited!  
  
Vash: No she didn't. She just said she didn't want to fight. *Grabs Wolfwood and they quickly begin to walk off* See you tomorrow Kim! Have fun with Knives!  
  
Knives: No Vash! You can't leave me here!  
  
Kim: We're gonna have so much fun Knives!  
  
Knives: Vash! Vash! I'm your brother! *Door closes as Vash and Wolfwood are gone from sight* Nooooooo!!!  
  
A/N: Wow. I'm an annoying little thing aren't I? ^_^; Anyway. If you still like it, please review. I don't know if I should continue from here or not. o.O So tell me what you think people! ^.^ If I don't continue, I'll start another ficcy. Probably something with Inuyasha or Kenshin. Thankies. ^_^ 


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